is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
