someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
