Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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