do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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