Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
