i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
