Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
