Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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