SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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