It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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