I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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