she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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