Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
