If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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