At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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