wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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