Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
