I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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