Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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