The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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