My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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