new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
