i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
