it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
