Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
