you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Are my feet made of real feet?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
