it hurts more in the daytime
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
