she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
