apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
