You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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