Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
