I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
