love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
