I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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