Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
