what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
