Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
