Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
