I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
