Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
