Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
