going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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