Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
