We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
