It's a beautiful day for a hangover
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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