How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
