Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
