sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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