we're blogging at a bar
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
