wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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