I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
