i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
