That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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