Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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