After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize