i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
