This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
