It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
