so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My bed smells like the plague
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
