You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
