So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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