My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
