I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
