youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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