Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
