the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
