woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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